Scout plus Bonk!
by Unsettling Fishcake
Summary: "How did I get accepted into that? I neva even heard of a Yolk...eye academy." Due to pressure from his mother, Scout finds himself retaking high school despite being 23 years old. This school also happens to have a bunch of unstable monsters, but the hot girls are worth it. At least that's what he keeps telling himself.
1. Delinquent meets vampire

I don't own Team Fortress 2 or Rosario + Vampire

* * *

"This sucks on ice!"

The RED mercenary huffed in disgust as he watched the landscape go by. He wore his fast learner, though he bet it was still out of uniform. The bus was leaving the city and going through a large tunnel. Scout paid it no mind as he pulled out his lucky ball and threw it against the bus window.

_thump_

and again...

_thump_

_thump_

_thump_

The bus driver turned his head and cackled, his lifeless glowing eyes bored into Scout's. The delinquent stopped for a moment. There were no others on the bus but the two, and an uncomfortable silence followed.

"Kehehehehe," The Bus Driver, snickered."So you're the new student enrolling at Youkai Academy?"

The Scout said nothing his jaw dropped open and his eyes widened.

"Heh...be careful," He warned, as the bus was approaching the other end of the tunnel. "Youkai Academy is a veeeerrrryyy horrifying school!"

The mercenary had only one thing on his mind throughout all this.

Nice Hat...

Unfortunately, just as he was about to offer the creepy driver some hats to trade, the bus made its stop and he was obligated to get off. Scout looked around him, and groaned. What the hell was this?

Scout thought for the briefest moment that he had been dropped off at Mann Manor. Everything looked dead and desolate, if the RED mercenary was more eloquent he would describe the area around the school as "eerie and horrifying" rather than "fuckin' freaky". As he took in the surrounding landscape, on guard for a random appearance of the Horseless Headless Horsemann, he wondered how he got into this mess.

* * *

**Teufort: RED base**

**1 week ago...**

"**Success! We have captured the enemy intelligence!"**

"Whoo! That's what I'm talkin' about!" Scout cheered. "What would ya chuckleheads do without me?"

"Good work partner," Dell Conagher, known as the Engineer, said. "I reckon about now those BLU dummies are getting riddled with bullets courtesy of Heavy."

"Heh yeah, wusses are probably shaking in their boots," Scout replied, but there was a distinct lack of malice in his tone. Ever since taking on the Gray team, hostilities have lessened between the teams (much to the Administrators displeasure).

Bzzt!

Bzzzt!

'Who the hell is callin' me during work?' Scout thought. He pulled out one of those fancy phones from that fruit company. He was surprised that technology had advanced so quickly since he started working for RED. Time had become...distorted since he respawned for the first time.

"Hey if this is BLU spy, ya should just hang up ya dumb bastard," Scout answered rudely.

...

"Oh! Ma' I didn't know it was you!"

…

"Yeah yeah! I know I never call, I've just been busy ya know?"

…

"Huh?"

…

"WHAT?"

…

"I don't need to finish High School! I've got a job!"

…

"I'm 23 now anyway!"

"Actually," Dell, chimed in with a grin. "Thanks to respawn we're all biologically the age we were six years ago. You've got the body of a 17 year old."

"Hey! Stay outta this!" Scout snapped. "Look ma' what school would even take me anyway?"

"Honey, it's this prestigious japanese school," Scout's mom gushed. "It's called, uh, Yolk-eye Academy or something."

"_How did I get accepted into that? I neva even heard of a Yolk...eye academy." _

"My boyfriend found this nice man with an application and we decided to enroll you!" His mother said."Isn't that wonderful?"

"_Boyfriend?! You don't mean that shapeshiftin' son of-"_

"Now now son!" She scolded,"Watch your language, and you should be glad at this opportunity. Besides you should finish school at least. I don't want you to end up like your brothers."

"_No way!"_

"But...don't you think it would be good for you?" She said miserably. "Don't ya care about the things your mother does for you? About this family?...Y-you're going to make me cry..."

She began to sniffle as Scout became stony faced on his end.

* * *

**Youkai Academy **

**Present day**

In the end he was guilted into going. The RED mercenary was hoping that his employers would bar him from going, but to his surprise they had been... insistent. He was stuck here, and it was all because of BLU Spy! He sighed.

'Oh well maybe I can join the track team or something' He thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad here after all.

"Coming through!"

The merc turned student had been so absorbed in his sulking that he had no time to react to approaching bicycle. With a yelp and an undignified curse he collided with the bike.

"Uuugh, why don't ya look where you're goin' or I'll...I'll," Scout mumbled as he realized he was talking to a gorgeous pink haired girl. "Take-you-out-on-date!"

He inwardly berated himself for the awkward response. Still, he was hot stuff, she wouldn't be able to resist him anyway. Totally.

"Huh?" The pink haired girl replied, still dazed. "Oh! I'm sorry, my anemia's made me all dizzy!"

The Scout then realized how close they were. His hand was on her thigh and she was looking at him with a concerned expression. He couldn't help but blush, and feel flustered. He was touching a girl! That hasn't happened in...ever! The mercenary moved his hand away suddenly feeling less confident around this girl. A small amount of blood trickled down his nose, much like the the cartoons Heavy watched when he thought no one was looking.

The beautiful girl was about to wipe his bleeding nose when the scent overtook her. She couldn't help it, couldn't stop herself from lunging at his neck. 'His scent,' She thought. 'Almost like a humans, and it's so heavenly.' She then bit down much to Scout's displeasure!

"Yeesh!" He cried out, more from surprise than pain. He was unsure if this was some kinky thing this chick was into or a greeting in this country. Some strange part of him was hoping the answer was both.

Moka noticed his discomfort and reluctantly pulled away from him. This boy had been her first! The taste of fresh blood was so delicious, there was no way she could go back to transfusion packs.

"I couldn't help myself you just smelled so good," She apologized with a sheepish grin. "I'm Moka Akashiya and I'm a vampire."

"V-vampire!?" Scout mouthed in shock. A few years ago he would think she was just being weird, but over the years he discovered anything was possible. The spooky atmosphere in the school wasn't helping either, places like this attracted ghosts and giant flying eyeballs. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume vampires could show up. Though he did not retaliate, the RED mercenary gave her a wary look.

"Er...so you hate my kind...," Moka sulked with a hurt expression. He couldn't help but feel all sorry and sympathetic, especially with her cute puppy dog eyes. Wait. What was he talking about?! He was a tough guy, and wasn't swayed by "cute" things.

'It's only cause she's hot yeah...'He flashed her a mix between a cocky smirk and a reassuring smile, but it ended up looking like a goofy grin.

"Nah, ya seem like an alright broad,"Scout said dismissively.

"That's great!" She said excitedly."Let's be friends then!"

Scout blinked. A genuine offer of friendship? From a girl? He wasn't sure how to respond, friendship outside of his team along with long term interactions with people outside of RED was discouraged. Hey, it wasn't exactly against the rules either. Besides maybe he could be more than friends with her, and by the way she acted he felt silly for thinking she was a vampire. There's no way this young bright eyed chick was the real deal.

"Sure," He replied casually. "If ya wanna see me without my shirt just ask."

Moka giggled as Scout wiggled his eyebrows. He was so funny!

"Well, I'm glad to meet you...um," She blushed in embarrassment, she didn't know his name!

"Just call me Scout."

"Scout," Moka added happily."Come talk to me after the entrance ceremony."

"Heh sure thing beautiful."

* * *

"Hello everyone and welcome to Youkai Academy!" A perky young woman, with suspiciously cat-like tufts of hair, addressed the room."I am your homeroom teacher Shizuka Nekonome!"

The Scout tapped his fingers impatiently, a few students glanced at him for some odd reason. Was it because he was out of uniform? He inwardly shrugged, if it was because they were thinking of picking a fight then they were in for an unpleasant surprise. He was about to tune out the teacher entirely until he heard.

"...a school built for the sake of monsters to attend!"

Huh!? Was this a joke? It wasn't a very good one if it was, still this introduction was getting more interesting.

The teacher went on about how the Earth was under control of humans and that monsters had to learn to coexist with them.

"So for that reason as a school rule," Nekonome said."You will all live your lives at this academy in human form!"

Scout's mouth was gaping so wide that one could fit several sandman balls in it. The realization that there were **real** monsters here (it didn't help that the teacher's tail showed for a brief moment) hit him like a truck.

"Hey teacher, would it not be better for us to eat those puny humans," Some punk asked. "In case of the girls molest them?"

If the RED merc's mind wasn't reeling at the moment, he would have thrown his favorite ball at the knucklehead. He was a lot of things, but his ma' told him that "no meant no" .

"All students and teachers are monsters, there are no humans here," Nekonome explained. "To those humans that come to know of our existence, we will bring them death...or something."

'So if everyone finds out I'm human I'll die!' Scout thought frantically, and without respawn he would stay dead.

Then it hit him. The true horror of this entire situation.

Disguises...

Not allowed to reveal their true form...

Learning to blend in...that meant...

He was surrounded by...

He was at a school for...

He shuddered, it overtook him. Years of reflex and training urged him to react, every fiber of his being cried out at the realization that everyone was a...

"**SPY!"**

* * *

A/N: A very stranger crossover indeed. Will update infrequently (sorry about that).

Edit: Applied minor corrections.


	2. Force of Nature

_I don't own Team Fortress 2 or Rosario + Vampire_

* * *

All eyes were upon the panicked mercenary in that instant. He could feel his heart beating rapidly against his chest as his chances of exposing himself became more likely. Thankfully, no less than a second later, a startled yelp came from behind Nekonome's desk. Everyone's attention drifted away from Scout's outburst and was now upon a shy looking girl with purple hair who had no choice but to reveal herself.

"Ah, are you... Mizore Shirayuki?" Nekonome asked, with a puzzled expression.

"Y-yeah," Mizore admitted. She had never been caught like this before, and her cheeks became more flushed as people started whispering. Had that boy really sensed her? It didn't seem like it, and yet it was like he had instinctively sensed something was wrong. She sat in the seat behind him. He was interesting despite not looking too bright. Mizore decided she would observe and find out more about him. Her cheeks became flushed once more. Okay, and maybe it was because he was kind of cute too.

At that moment Scout felt a shiver go up his spine for some reason. That weird girl was sort of pretty, but the way she was hidden like that just screamed "spy" to him. He could almost feel her cold breath on his neck, reminiscent of the chill one felt as a spycicle went through their backs. Even now it was like she was watching him, and waiting to...to...do something. He would do his best to avoid her.

Throughout all this Moka looked at her friend in concern. The vampire was going to greet him when she arrived but he had yelled out loud, and decided it was better to talk to him later.

* * *

Scout didn't know whether to be running around screaming or to grin like an idiot as he was dragged around by an enthusiastic Moka.

'Gotta get out! Now!' He thought frantically, and then he thought. 'I could get used to having a chick hold onto me...'

He didn't even have to say anything, she just chatted enthusiastically to him. The poor broad must be pretty lonely, she acted like having a pal was a new experience. Though, from all the comments from the chuckleheads observing her, the mercenary wasn't so sure about her being lonely.

"Hmmm such a pretty one..." The punk from earlier said. He stood in Moka's way with a confident smirk."You are Moka Akashiya, aren't you? I'm Saizou Komiya."

Scout didn't give him a chance to continue. He already knew he was bad news. He had seen guys like him in Boston all the time. Hell, some of his brothers were like this guy. That was all the more reason to distrust him.

"She's not interested numbnuts," Scout replied dismissively. "See ya."

Scout tugged on Moka's arm and started walking around Saizou, and she was all too happy to comply.

"Hey, I wasn't asking you," Saizou growled, he made a grab for Scout but missed. It looked like he had more to say, but wanted to keep a calm and collected appearance. This was just a setback, he thought as he furiously watched the pair walking away, Moka would be his.

* * *

Moka happily gazed upon a large creepy worn concrete building. It was drab and grey, and looked extremely depressing. The dorms seemed more like a creepy prison or somewhere the medic would "practice medicine". The randomly placed graves weren't helping either.

"Eh, creepy but I've stayed in worse places," Scout sighed.

"Huh? This building is really cool," Moka disagreed, passionately."It's full of dignity and character."

'Pfff, yeah a vampire would say that,' He thought, and was suddenly reminded of his predicament. He was in a school for monsters. How could he be expected to stay here for 3 years?

Scout held a withdrawal notice in his hands. Sure, Moka was beautiful and nice to him, but he would have to be crazy to stay. This is somewhere they should send the Pyro! Not him! He let out a sigh of relief as he thought about going back to the team. This would all be a bad dream, yep. Then he remembered what awaited him if he left now.

* * *

Scout sat in the conference room as he explained to Saxton Hale through video chat about going to Youkai Academy.

"So ya see Mista Hale, I guess I won't be able to work anymore 'cause I gotta go to this school," The RED mercenary explained with a sigh. He knew his boss wouldn't like it one bit, but at least it would get him out of this mess.

"Huh, you don't seem too enthusiastic kid," Saxton said, narrowing his eyes at Scout while he did push ups on his pinkies.

What? Shouldn't he be shouting at him to get back to work? Telling him school wasn't an option?

"Uh what are ya talkin' about?"

"No man is complete without a basic education!" Hale boomed. "Sounds like you don't wanna go?"

"Well yea-" Scout began nervously, but was cut off by his boss.

"WHAT!" His boss shouted and stood up his face pressed against the screen. "Are you too big of a sissy to handle high school!?"

"No I j-"

"**IS IT CAUSE YOU HATE WORK AND ANYTHING THAT GETS YOU A JOB? THAT'S HIPPIE THINKING!"**

"But I already work here-"

Saxton, defying all logic and the laws of physics, reached his arm out and grasped Scout through the screen. He then slammed his employee's face into the it.

"**LISTEN HERE! I DON'T HIRE HIPPIES SO YOU'RE GONNA GO TO THAT SCHOOL, FINISH IT, AND THEN COME BACK HERE AS A MAN!"**

Scout nearly soiled himself, and started trembling as Saxton began to speak in a low voice.

"And if you come back early or get expelled like a hooligan, then that makes you a sissy wanker hippie!" Saxton growled. "And then you'll feel the full might of **SAXTON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE**!"

"O-okay," Scout squeaked. He was glad Heavy wasn't around because this time he truly had soiled himself.

* * *

"Ah crap," Scout sighed, it was either attend a monster school or face Saxton Hale. He thought about it for a second, and crumpled the withdrawal notice as he threw it over his shoulder. He heard an annoyed grunt behind him as the paper had hit Saizou in the face.

"Nice catch knucklehead," Scout taunted, which earned a growl from Saizou. The rogue monster approached him threateningly.

"You little shit," He spat and balled his fist."Think you're hot stuff because you were hanging around with Moka yesterday? You'll pay for that."

He partially transformed his fist and punched at the RED merc, the wall breaking under the immense display of power.

"Man, are you slow..."

Saizou raised in his brow in shocked and snapped his head around. This wimp had dodged his attack and made him look like a fool!

"You! What kind of monster are you?!" The rogue monster demanded. A crowd of onlookers had gathered around him as the scene unfolded.

Scout wasn't afraid of this guy. Sure the clawed hand was freaking weird, but he wasn't any different than many punks he had beaten down years ago.

"Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?" Scout said incredulously and stepped over to Saizou. "Ya' listenin'? OK. Birds fly, grass grows..."

The mercenary sneered and tapped Saizou's chest roughly. "And brotha, I hurt people."

Scout easily dodged the monster's angry attempt to swat him away. Scout posed to the crowd of onlookers and grinned cockily.

"Imma force'a nature!" He boasted without a hint of modesty. "If you were from where I was from you'd be fuckin' dead!"

Saizou was shaking with pure rage at this point. He made a lunge for scout, only to be whacked with something wet, smelly, and very salty. Scout smacked him again with the fish and jumped over the crowd, who all wondered where the fish came from.

"Catch ya later numbnuts!" The mercenary jeered as he ran off. As he disappeared from sight, Mizore sucked on her lollipop in contemplation.

"Force of nature..." She muttered to herself with a puzzled frown.

* * *

Moka spotted her new friend zooming her way. He was quite fast, and energetic, and she could smell his some of his sweat. It made her hungry.

"Good morning!" She greeted and hugged him. The mercenary had a surprised but pleased look on his face. "Let's hurry or we're gonna be tardy!"

"Heh yeah..." Scout mumbled, he was still coming to terms with being stuck here.

"What's wrong Scout?" His vampire friend asked with concerned. Was he that obvious?

"Eh, nothin' just wondering if a human school would be better ya know?" Scout shrugged dismissively.

"No way!" Moka shouted, shocking Scout."You wouldn't like it! I hate those humans!"

"Huh?!"

"I actually went to a human school up through middle school," Moka explained miserably with a wince. "I was so isolated, and everyday I was reminded that I was different. It was sooo tough." Then she looked at Scout with happiness and even a hint of adoration. "But you accepted me even after finding out I was a vampire. For the first time in my life I don't feel alone anymore. So you see, you shouldn't go. Let's study hard at this academy together."

Scout was speechless, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was tempted, tempted to carry on like her hatred of humankind didn't disturb him. That wasn't him though, that was something back stabbing scumbags did. He wasn't a saint, he knew that for sure, but he had to be honest if there was any chance with her. He just hoped she wouldn't rat him out.

"Moka, if you're gonna be my girlfriend I need to be honest with ya," He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. He gulped. "I'm human, babe."

Moka gasped, and her eyes widened.

"Y-you're not serious are you?" She cautioned, fear dominating her features. "Um we aren't a couple either Scout, just friends. Don't joke around about such things, humans can't come here."

The mercenary winced, as an aching pain entered his chest. It made the rejection that much worse, why was he stupid enough to think they were couple already? Did he misread it that bad? No way he was a ladies' man! He saw that look, on her face, that one of fear. One he recognized on his opponents just as he slugged their faces and blasted their jaws off.

"Nah, from the way you're acting we 'aint even friends," Scout snapped, balling his fists. "I'm as human as it gets. Sorry 'bout that I won't bother you anymore."

"Scout wait!" Moka called to him, but he was already out of sight.

* * *

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Scout berated himself, as he looked out over the blood colored ocean. He kicked a rock over the cliff and bit his lip. Why did this rejection hurt so much? He had been rejected plenty of times by broads before. He clicked his tongue and shook his head. So why did it hurt so much this time? Did he grow attached to Moka that fast? She wanted nothing to do with him, at that thought his eyes stung a little. What? Was he going to cry? 'Get a hold of yourself!' He thought angrily. Scout wasn't some wimp, he was tough! He faced down robots, and trigger happy mercenaries on an almost daily basis. What would his team think if they could see him now?

"The pain is nearly unbearable isn't it?"

The mercenary jumped in surprise as he felt a shiver go up his spine. It was that purple haired girl from before? What was her name again? Miso, Moomoo, Spylady, Violet? Didn't matter, he decided she snuck on him like a spy and that gave him the creeps. It didn't help that her hair was blue, well purple, but that was blue enough for Scout.

"Yeesh! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry," Mizore said, but didn't sound very sorry at all."I was just ...drawn to you. Especially now that you share my pain as well."

"What are you talkin' about?" Scout scoffed, and put on a forced smirk."My handsome face and I are doing just fine!"

Mizore said nothing for a few moments, and stared at him as if trying to read him. Finally, she pulled her lolli out of her mouth. "You're lying, to cope with the pain of rejection and loneliness, but that's okay I understand that."

Scout's eyes widened, was she watching him earlier? How did she know that? Did that mean she knew he human? Her expression gave none of that away. Still, what did she mean by alone? He had a team, and a family.

"Pff, yeah you 'aint my shrink miss," Scout grumbled."And you're wrong, I'm not alone."

"Are you sure?" She asked skeptically."I can see it in your eyes. I'm not sure if I can explain it but that look you have in your eyes when you are alone, and now especially. They are like mine"

The mercenary frowned, what was she going on about? He was awesome! People liked him! He was about to tell her to go away with a side of profanity when he heard a scream some distance away. 'Was that Moka?' He thought. Scout wasn't sure, but he had to help this girl. If it was Moka, he would still help her even if she hated him. Besides, monster or not it was still a guy's duty to help a broad out.

"Gotta go miss." He abruptly said, and dashed off.

Mizore opened her mouth to respond but he was way past earshot. She huffed, his speed made him a hard to stalk, but she liked the challenged. If she heard him right earlier, he was human. Not that she really cared about that, she had no problem with humans in general. In fact it added to the puzzle as he seemed strong for a human. Despite being lonely he was cocky, and arrogant, but she felt she was getting closer to understanding the real him. At the very least he seemed noble when it came to helping girls. Though she wasn't sure why he did that. People were weird and didn't understand those who were lonely. They weren't worth the effort. Still, she wouldn't mind Scout helping her and sweeping her off her feet. The snow woman suddenly felt warm at that thought, but shook her head. Where did that come from? Scout really was weird.

* * *

"Eeeeeew!" Moka cried out in disgust, as a large tongue wrapped around her. Saizou had cornered her, and went as far as breaking the rules and transforming.

"_**Slllrrrp**_**, you're driving me wild Moka! Keep squirming!"** Saizou growled lustfully, tightening his tongue. **"It makes it more fun for me when a beauty like you struggles."**

She desperately wished to take off her rosary, but knew she was unable to. This was shaping up to be a horrible day, she had lost a friend, and was at the mercy of this awful pervert. The vampire whimpered as fresh tears trailed down her face. Then she heard it, a voice she thought she would never hear again.

"Think fast numbnuts!"

"**Hrrrmm?"**

A baseball sailed through the air at high speed, and the rogue monster had no time to react as the ball slammed into his face. Saizou cried out, and released Moka. He saw stars as he stumbled about with distorted vision and dizziness. Scout rushed over to Moka's side and helped her up.

"Scout, why are you here?" Moka gasped in surprise.

"Well, what kind of man would I be if I left a pretty chick to fend for herself?" Scout replied with a wink. He rubbed the back of his head. "And teammates don't abandon each other...erm friends but ya get what I mean." He decided he would try to be friends after he dealt with Saizou, and it was a good time to be focusing on Saizou as the massive brute rushed at Scout intent on turning him into a meat stain. The RED mercenary dodged his blows and tightened his grip on the Sandman bat.

"**AAAAAARGH!" **Saizou roared and swung at him in rage. **"YOU LITTLE WORM! HOLD STILL! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!"**

The Scout laughed at him and dodged his blows easily. The monster decided to change his tactics and made a wide grab, his massive arms encircling the the little pest. Saizou smirked, he was trapped, he would crush him! Just as the last moment Scout made a large leap, up to Saizou's face, but what shocked the rogue monster was that he somehow jumped _again_! Saizou was snapped out of his thought's with a slap to his face, as Scout landed on his shoulder.

"Today 'aint your day pancakes!" Scout taunted. Saizou made a grab for Scout, but the mercenary whacked his foe's head with his bat as he jumped down. "Boink!"

Saizou stumbled a bit from the blow, but that blow was pitifully weak! He laughed almost maniacally.

"Bonk!" Scout then struck him in the chest, but Saizou wasn't fazed. Moka looked on in worry. If Scout was hurt it would be all her fault.

"**IS THAT YOUR BEST BLOW WEAKLING?" **Saizou snarled, he decided to take this bastard's attacks just to let him feel despair before smashing him.

The Scout said nothing as he continued to strike Saizou's chest as if waiting for something.

_plink_

_plink_

_plink_

_plink_

_**POW!**_

"**AAAAAAAARGH YAAAAADAAAA!" **Saizou screamed in rage and disbelief as a single blow fell him. Unlike the bastard's other strikes, it had felt like being hit by unrestrained power. As Saizou drifted out of consciousness, he could have sworn he heard his foe mumble something about "crits".

'To be human and take down a monster...,' Mizore thought in wonder, from her hiding place. 'I'll definitely be watching you more closely Scout.' She pulled out a journal and began to write in it.

Scout dematerialized his bat back into hammerspace* and turned to Moka. He flexed his non-existent muscles and kissed his arms. "Oh yeah! Did ya see that?" He cheered, earning a giggle from Moka.

"Thank you," Moka said warmly. "I...I don't care if you're human I want remain your friend." She approached him with a blush and hugged him tightly.

Scout was confused, was she coming on to him? She sniffed him, and let out a content sigh. Her soft lips approached him and he grinned nervously. He had never kissed a girl before, and unfortunately for him he wouldn't be kissing one today.

"Chuuuuuuu~"

The vampire bit into Scout's neck sucking on his blood.

"Aaaaaaaah!" Scout shouted, he didn't lose this much blood when using the Boston Basher. This was going to be a long 3 years...

* * *

**Omake**

"Imma force'a nature!" He boasted without a hint of modesty. "If you were from where I was from you'd be fuckin' dead!"

Saizou was shaking with pure rage at this point. He made a lunge for scout, only to be whacked with... a hand? Scout gasped in shock, where was the fish? The rogue monster was about to make a grab for the little wimp when a large sound permeated the area.

"**OM NOM NOM NOM!"**

"What the hell was that?" A student asked.

**"NOM NOM NOM NOM!"**

Everyone turned to the source of the racket, and found Nekonome munching on a fish. She stopped for a moment and stared back at the crowd as if to ask "what?". After a couple of seconds she continued.

**"NOM NOM NOM NOM!" **

"IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE CAT WOMAN!"

* * *

* The Engineer gave all of the team an australium powered nano-implant that allows them to summon and unsummon an item from their backpack at will. They cannot switch their loadout once they are engaged in combat however. If you don't like that explanation then Merasmus did it, and if you don't like that explanation then it's a Mann Co product, and if you don't like that explanation then I am sorry to say it's just a story. You should really just relax.

A/N: Well, the opening is pretty wrapped up. I do want to change up the events the more the story goes along to keep it fresh, but early on it will follow canon. Also, on Scout I do plan to develop his character as his time in the academy will shape him. As he is now, he isn't exactly the kind of guy who would get a harem. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next time!


	3. Friendship and Boobs

**I do not own Team Fortress 2 or Rosario + Vampire.**

* * *

"_Oh Scout, that was amazing..." Moka sighed dreamily and leaned into him._

"_Heh, of course it was," Scout replied without a hint of modesty. The two were panting under the sheets of a king sized bed._

"_Scout?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Will you marry me?" Moka inquired with a blush. _

"_Hell yeah!" Scout cheered. _

_Suddenly a puff of smoke enveloped Moka, and in her place was Mizore. Scout let out a startled yelp, as she pulled the lollipop out of her mouth and blushed._

"_Yes! I can't wait...," She gushed with a coy look._

"_WHAT? How did you-"_

"_What did you expect?" Mizore answered, much like the Spy."Now let's make lots of children...my husband."_

"_No, no, no- agh!" Scout cried out as she pulled him in for a kiss._

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The mercenary screamed as he awoke from his nightmare, waking the entire male dorm. Scout looked around the room.

'No creepy shape shiftin' girl here.' He thought with a sigh of relief. Scout suddenly felt embarrassed, normally the Soldier would be the one screaming and waking everyone up to do PT.

He wondered why he had such a dream. Ever since respawn his dreams were much like his job, often it was like he never fell asleep at all. Bizarre things happened in those dreams, like racing in blimps and fighting Saxton Hale. Maybe it was because there was no respawn, and it affected dreams. That's what he would think if he wasn't so occupied trying to lower his morning wood.

Why did he dream about Moka?

He shuddered.

...Why did her turning into that purple haired broad excite him more?

* * *

"Morning Scout!" Moka greeted warmly, and enveloped him into a hug. This earned the mercenary a ton of glares from jealous guys.

"Why is she with that American guy!?"

"What sort of relationship do they have?"

"A guy like that with her...I'm going to beat him to death!"

Scout sneered back at them, as Moka enthusiastically dragged him along. He could take these punks. A traitorous part of his mind admitted that if he were in their position he would have a similar reaction.

'Shut up ya stupid brain,' He thought. Besides he _could_ take them, or not. Who knows what kind of freaks they were past those disguises. The shape shifting rats. Another traitorous thought appeared in his head. He was a human that accidentally enrolled in a monster school, making him the only human here. Technically that makes him the...the...NO!

That made him the SPY!

"Gah! Does-not-compute!" Scout's eyes twitched, concerning Moka. It couldn't be! The merc shivered, as his brain felt like it would melt.

"Are you feeling alright Scout?" Moka asked, putting a hand on his forehead."You're twitching and your face is all red. You should go to the nurse."

"Huh? Nah, look at me!," Scout boasted and flexed an arm."I'm looking as sexy as eva- oof!"

"Mmm~ m'sorry when I'm so close I can't resist," She replied in a muffled tone, as she sucked more of his blood. "Your blood is just so yummy slrrrrp~!"

After finishing Scout moved away with a frown.

"Jeez! I know I'm awesome, but a little warning next time?" He scolded, rubbing his sore neck as well as trying to ignore the tightening in his groin.

"But it's just so good!" Moka giggled. "I might even get addicted!"

Scout crossed his arms and scowled, it was more of a pout, but Scout didn't pout. Did she just hang around him for blood? He wasn't sure if his Ma's advice about gold diggers applied here. Scout's first instinct was to tell her he wasn't food and run off. He already ran off and embarrassed himself once so that was out. Besides he was gonna deal with this dilemma here and now! He was going to man up, it would take something more than an uncomfortable hickey to make him ditch Moka.

Just after finishing that thought he spotted some short person with a witch's hat turning a corner. He **needed** that hat!

"Scout! Where are you going?!" Moka called to him, as he ran towards the source of the hat that had enthralled him.

* * *

'Damn, I think I took a few wrong turns,' Scout thought, and sighed. The hat, er person wearing the hat was nowhere in sight. Instead he was around the woods outside the school. He was just about to leave, when he heard a groan. 'Eh, not my problem...'

The groan became louder, and longer. The tone and pitch was also feminine. A broad needed help. Now it was his problem. The RED mercenary ran over to the source, a girl was lying down on the ground and looked like she was having trouble getting up.

"'Kay this does not look good here, ummm," He mumbled to himself, he wasn't like Medic. The most he could do was throw milk at people to heal himself.

"Som...someone help," The girl mumbled, as Scout's eyes widened. "I suddenly feel really ill..."

This girl had the biggest pair of knockers he had ever seen! His eyes glazed over, a blush spread across his face, and he grinned in a lecherous manner. Scout shook his head, he could be perverted later. She needed help.

"Hold on I got ya," He reassured, before hollering to the skies. "Medic!"

"Um..."

"Give it a moment..."

"..."

"huh...Medic!"

"I don't thi-"

"Doc! cmon man!" The mercenary shouted one more time. "Tch. Ah well..."

* * *

**TEUFORT**

"Doktor?" Heavy asked, as the Medic began rubbing his temples with a growl."What is wrong?"

The two were playing cards as it was their break time.

"Ugh!" Medic spat."Somehow, mien dummkopf sense is going off!"

* * *

The girl chuckled at him, forgetting for the moment that she was supposed to be ill.

"Who were you expecting?" She asked.

"Eh heh, nothin' it's just an old habit." Scout replied sheepishly, and helped her up. "You should boobs, I mean go to the infirmary!"

She smirked inwardly, and pressed her chest against Scout. "Thanks for helping me, it's just that my chest is so big and sometimes it feels like it's going to burst."

'Ooooh yeah!' Scout thought. They were so big and soft, and she wasn't the only one with something about to burst. 'No no, gotta focus! Focus on the boobs! No, focus!"

"Hey Scout," The big chested girl said, in a mesmerizing tone."Look into my eyes."

"But your chest is down here!" Scout, leered while not questioning how she knew his name. He slapped himself a few times across the face. "I mean boobs! Erm!"

The girl tried not to laugh. He was falling to her charms so easy! It seems like she might not even have to use her eyes! She shook her chest a little, as Scout tracked the movement with his eyes in a zealous manner. Still, this plan might fall apart without it. So while he was distracted with her chest she reached up to his face and directed it towards her face. Scout smiled like a small child got caught doing something naughty. He chuckled nervously as they shared intense eye contact.

"I'm Kurono Kurumu,"Kurumu smiled coyly. "Please be a good friend, okay?"

Her eyes were so pretty. It's like he was losing himself, and the mercenary would have if he didn't go back to staring at her chest. Kurumu sighed as she returned his gaze to her, and intensified the look. Just when it seemed like his resistance would break, something icy and a bit sharp hit Kurumu and him in the face.

"Eep!" Kurumu yelped, and backed away.

"What?!" Scout looked around confused. Where had that come from? It wasn't even snowing. This was just too weird. Scout ran off, leaving a bewildered and frustrated Kurumu behind.

* * *

Why did she do that?

Mizore pondered with a frown as she stalked after Scout. Sure, he was interesting and she found him relatable at times. On the other hand he had an annoying habit of not staying in one place for too long and was way too brash to be her type. Then, why did she follow him around? Why did she feel so jealous when that big chested bimbo got too close? It was similar to the way that she felt when Scout was with Moka. He should be friends with her!

Mizore grimaced, and sucked on her lollipop. He never accepted her offer of friendship. Wait, she never got around to it. That meant he might be friends with her. He wasn't so receptive that one time, but that's alright Scout was a weird guy. Mustering up all her courage, she emerged from behind a locker and appeared behind him.

"Hello...,"Mizore greeted shyly, breathing in his ear.

"Aaah!" Scout yelped in an unmanly way, and jumped back. "Oh it's you Miso...erm M-"

"Mizore."

"Mizore, yeah," Scout gulped. Why did she give him the chills? She was a high school girl damn it! If anything she should be afraid by such an intimidating macho man like himself!

Scout recomposed himself and tried again.

"So uh how are you?" He asked, it was a bit awkward talking to the subject of your nightmares.

"Lonely," Mizore replied flatly."I don't want to stay lonely..."

"So let's be friends alright?"She asked hesitantly as her cheeks ever so slightly pinkened.

'When did chicks get this forward?'Scout pondered. Oh she just wanted to be friends, but until coming here most members of the opposite sex wouldn't give him the time of day.

"Heh, sure," Scout smirked, and nodded." I don't blame you I am me after all."

Mizore blinked at him.

"Underneath that mask of arrogance you are interesting," Mizore acknowledged.

"Hey!" Scout replied indignantly. 'Talk about backhanded compliments.'

"I should know," Mizore smiled and her cheeks pinkened once more."I've been observing you for a while. Look at this." She pulled out a book and showed some of it's contents. There were pages, _pages_, of things written about him. There were even some photos, of him running, smiling, running, flexing his muscles at Moka, running, and...

"Is that me in the shower?" He wondered aloud, that photo was blurry like there was steam obscuring the image. Mizore's eyes widened and she slammed her book shut.

"Uh no it wasn't!" She said panicked, Scout chose to believe her.

The mercenary sort of found this all a bit creepy, but flattering. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Are you some spy are somethin'?"

"The career has always interested me," Mizore admitted."My mother is also a big spy fanatic."

"Yeah mom's can be scary," Scout nodded sagely, while trying not to panic at her interest in being a spy.

"And a bit forceful," She smiled wryly.

They both laughed at that. She didn't seem so bad after all.

* * *

Moka sighed as she leaned against a locker. Today hadn't gone so well. Scout got upset with her this morning, and then ran off ranting about a hat. Then, when she finally caught up to him he was distracted with that big chested blue haired girl, although from the looks of it he had ran away from her too. They seemed awfully close though...

'_**Hey...don't get distracted'**_ A voice from her rosary resonated in Moka's head. _**'You're being targeted.'**_

"Huh?" Moka muttered in confusion. "Where did that voice come from?"

"You're a vampire right?" A voice inquired from above Moka."At least that's what the rumors say..."

Kurumu jumped down the stair railing and posed confidently in front of Moka. This earned her many comments of admiration from the male student body.

"I am the succubus Kurono Kurumu," She stated cockily."I have come to defeat you."

"Isn't that against the school rules to give away your true form?" Moka protested.

"I can't stand it anymore!" The succubus growled."My plan was perfect! I should have had every guy at the academy a slave to my beauty right from the start! That's why I've decided to prove I can defeat you, I'll show you I'm better than you by stealing away that Scout guy!"

"Coming through!" Scout said as he ran past a few students. "Hey Moka! Sorry for runnin' off it's a bad habit of mine. I want you to meet this Mizore girl. Uh Mizore?"

Mizore was nowhere in sight. She was quite shy it seems but she could have warned him, now he just looked like some doofus and Moka was just staring at him in disbelief.

"No really! She was with me!" Scout defended."She can appear and disappear without a sound it's weird but true."

"Oh Scout~" Kurumu cooed and hugged him tightly, before Moka could reply to Scout."Why did you run off and leave poor little me behind like that?"

"Um boobs," Scout said dumbly, his mouth watering.

"Scout!" Moka huffed at him, and glared."Get her off of you! She's trying to trick you!"

'Oh man is she not happy...,' Scout tugged on his shirt nervously.

"How could you say that?!" Kurumu replied in a hurt tone, and then leaned on Scout."Oh I feel faint." She then quickly locked eyes with Scout using as much as her power as she could. This time Scout succumbed to her power.

"Please believe me Scout! She'll make you a slave and even eat you!"

Scout turned to Moka with glazed eyes and an accusing stare. It seemed like he was going to tell his vampire friend off.

"Boobs."

"What?" Moka said.

"Boobs, boobs boobs boobs...boobs."

The vampire wasn't sure whether to laugh or be offended. He was definitely not himself and the tone of his voice seemed hurtful. Yet he kept saying such a lewd word over and over.

'Yahoo! It worked...kind of!' Kurumu thought, smirking mischievously. It looks like she couldn't make Moka cry for now. She would just have to take her prize instead. "Let's go to the infirmary Scout."

"Boobs boobs."

"Yes follow the boobs...," Kurumu said patiently and shook her chest. The two leaving a sweat dropping vampire behind.

"Scout...you pervert," Moka groaned in exasperation.

"Yes, but he is my friend," A voice beside her said."Whatever that girl has planned for him can't be good. I have to stop her."

"You must be Mizore, hello; and don't you mean 'our' friend?" The vampire asked.

Mizore stared at Moka for an uncomfortable moment, her eyes regarding her coldly. The purple hair girl just moved on ahead.

'She's right though,'Moka thought, as determination spread across her features. Scout saved her when she needed him, and now she would do the same.

* * *

"Er those aren't my lips...," Kurumu sighed as Scout once more attempted to bury his face in her chest.

She pinned him down this time and tried to kiss him, but he rolled away, and went for her chest.

"Mmmm, Moka," He mumbled, for the first time saying something other than "boobs". Kurumu snapped.

"Why are you still thinking about her!"Kurumu screamed, her eyes shining murderously. That's it, if this isn't going to work I'll just have to destroy Moka and everything having to do with her! Starting with you!"

The succubus revealed her true form, sprouting wings, pointed ears, a tail, and sharp claws. Scout mumbled unawares the entire time. Just as she was about to charge, Kurumu felt a coldness spreading around her legs. She turned her head to see Mizore in the doorway, who then threw a snowball at Scouts face.

"Boobs- Whoa! what the hell is going on?!"

Further adding to his confusion, Moka then rushed into the room and pushed Kurumu out the window with her strength.

"Scout are you alright?" Moka asked.

"Uh I won't be in someone doesn't start explaining," He said.

"She's a succubus, you made her mad," Mizore summarized."She wants to kill Moka and you."

Scout just laughed. He knew Kurumu was a monster, but kill him? He jumped out the window and his friends followed.

"Pff, yeah right," Scout scoffed."She's a girl."

Suddenly the room felt very cold as all three girls glared daggers at him. 'Who's side are they on?'

"What? Besides I'm not gonna fight a girl."

"Alright then I'll deal with her," Mizore rolled her eyes in resignation.

"No! I can't let a girl protect me like that!" Scout replied stubbornly.

"Have it your way! I'm going to tear you to shreds!" Kurumu shrieked.

He could shoot her out of the air, although guns should be a last resort he didn't want to risk getting expelled or accidentally killing her. Especially since getting expelled had...consequences. The mercenary gulped. Not that it mattered, girls weren't supposed to fight guys. Right? Scout was brought out of his musings as Kurumu charged at him. He responded by chuckling, which was a mistake as he received a glancing blow when dodging. Man those were sharp!

"You fight like a girl!"

Once more all three girls glared at him. If one were to observe the moment, they would think all three were going to kill him in an excruciatingly painful manner.

"Typical boy...,"Mizore muttered.

"Ooooh!" Moka groaned in frustration at Scout's comments.

_**'** **Don't ask why, I am another you. Have him take your rosary off... I have felt this impulse recently, that he could remove it. Now more than ever I can feel it, let me free!' **_Moka's inner-self urged her.

Moka wasn't sure, what if Scout didn't like her then? What if she couldn't change back? Still, she said she would be the one to help him. ...Even if he currently wasn't too deserving of it.

"Scout! Grab my rosary!" Moka called, as Scout dodged another attack from Kurumu who was screaming at him to hold still. The wound he received earlier seemed to slow him down some, and if he was just going to remain cocky like this without fighting back he would lose.

"Er why?"

"No time! Just do it!"

"Like I would let you get away with whatever you're planning!" Kurumu snapped and dove at Scout. It was too late for her, as Scout ran to Moka at an incredible speed and pulled off the vampire's rosary.

A blast of supernatural energy weighed down on the surrounding area. Mizore shielded her eyes in wonder. This was raw power, if she ever had to deal with Moka it wouldn't be in her true form.

Moka's hair began to lose color and her body became a bit more developed. She opened her blood red eyes as Scout's mouth gaped open. She was beautiful, and freaking scary.

"Uh..." He tried, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Inner Moka just gave him a very brief "I'll deal with you later" look. She crossed her arms arrogantly in front of Kurumu.

"Don't mess around!" Kurumu growled, hovering above Moka."I'm not going to lose to you! In order to keep our species from dying out, we must carefully pick one man out of many to be our destined one!"

She dove at Moka with her claws ready to slice the vampire to shreds.

"You got in the way of that! I can't let you get away no matter what!"

"Hmph, frail egotistical woman," Moka scoffed, baring her large fangs."Know your place!"

Just as Kurumu got within range, the annoyed vampire kicked her opponent hard. Kurumu flew back and slammed into the ground causing the earth to crack beneath her. She wouldn't be getting up from that one soon.

Scout's mouth gaped open. What happened to Moka? Shewas strong as hell! He was scared, really scared she gave of this aura or "feeling" as he put it. It was similar to the one powerful supernatural opponents gave off like the Horsemann, Monoculus and even Merasmus. Scout grinned and she was hot.

Moka approached Kurumu in a threatening manner, as if she intended to mutilate the defeated succubus.

Despite his thuggish appearance and demeanor Scout at times could be considered a genius. He could recite sports and comic book facts almost as fast as he could run. In battle he could use his quick thinking to determine his aim when running at high speeds. His reflexes and awareness could be considered superhuman. His tactics had almost no rival. He also had a good sense of self-preservation and had a near instinctual sense of when it was a good time to retreat. However, there were times that proved he wasn't a genius, at moments he would ignore his sense to retreat in order to boost his ego, or he would seemingly at random do incredibly stupid things that threatened his continued existence. This was one of those moments.

"Hey baby~," Scout struck a cheesy pose, and pointed a finger at her.

Moka turned around, and narrowed her eyes at the mercenary. Scout failed to notice her clench her fist.

"Nice moves...for a girl," He gave her a winning smile, or at least his attempt at one."How about I take you out on a date?"

"You!" The vampire snarled."You have been nothing but a huge pervert!"

She approached him with a wicked glare, her aura weighing down on him. She was so unlike the other Moka. Scout's smile faltered but he still clung to some hope. She didn't say "no" after all.

"What's worse is that I had to save you from your own chauvinistic attitude!" She hissed." The other me may tolerate your behavior, but you have been inconsiderate, arrogant, and stupid!"

"So is that a no?"

"I would never allow myself to be courted by someone who belittles my gender!" Moka yelled as she grabbed the rosary from him. She then kicked him. hard. "Know your place!"

_**POW!**_

"AAaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

* * *

A heavily bandaged Scout was lying down on one of cots in the infirmary. This was a big blow to his ego. The RED mercenary would never dream of losing to a chick. This was so backwards to him, girls weren't supposed to be this strong! His team would never give him the end of it if they found out! And yet scary Moka had kicked his ass in one move. Her kick her almost as much as the time he had all his blood punched out. It also felt like she was holding back, the blow Kurumu took seemed much worse. Did that mean scary Moka knew and didn't care that he was human? Hopefully that meant she didn't hate him.

He looked at Moka she had teary eyes. Poor gal, must be blaming herself. Mizore watched over a passed out Kurumu. She was on her guard as the succubus began to stir.

"She's waking up," Mizore frowned. She was debating on whether or not to freeze her.

"We should report her," Moka suggested firmly.

The succubus hung her head. She wasn't expecting any different. It was a huge mistake to go up against Moka, and she did feel sorry for the things she did. It was too late to take it back though.

Scout stared at Kurumu as if seeing her for the first time. He didn't think she should be punished, oddly enough. Scout thought he should be a bit more mad at her, but he was used to people trying to kill him, and it didn't surprise him either. Maybe it was the blue hair. Blue things tended to hurt him. When he really thought about it, that sappy talk about a "destined one" was what got him. The fact that she took it so far was because it really meant something to her. Scout internally groaned, since when did he become a sucker for romance?

"No, she's been punished enough," Scout croaked."Besides she's a friend too."

Kurumu smiled widely. 'He's not holding it against me?' She thought, the succubus was glad he considered her a friend.

"Do you really forgive me?" Kurumu asked.

"Yeah," Scout nodded confidently.

"You're not just saying that are you?" Kurumu asked.

"You're just saying that right?" Mizore asked the mercenary as well.

"Nope," He smiled, and then hoped he wouldn't regret this."I'll even help ya find your, er, destined one right? Or boo- er boyfriend."

Kurumu forgetting her injury, stood up and cheered. She practically lunged at Scout and hugged him tightly. He would normally love the feeling of her breasts up against him, but it was painful to his battered and sore body. There was also that fact that he couldn't breath. "Mmmmf!"

"Oh! Thank you!" Kurumu squealed, and then smirked seductively."I'm going to practice all my skills on you, and find my destined one in no time!"

The succubus then ran out of the room with a big grin on her face. Neither Moka or Mizore looked too happy about it. Finally Moka who seemed to be struggling internally with her self, spoke up.

"I'm really sorry Scout." Moka whimpered apologetically."This other me was just really mad about Kurumu, and I'm sure she was taking it out on you."

"Sss, nah I...deserved it,"Scout winced."I was bein' a jerk..."

Moka nodded.

"Um this is the part where you say I wasn't right?" He asked expectantly.

"No, you were being a jerk," Moka affirmed.

"And sexist," Mizore added.

"Don't forget perverted too."

"Yep."

"Yeah, yeah!... I get it," He sighed in a rare moment of humility."I'm sorry, there's no excuse. I need to act better around you pretty girls. So I'll make it up to you two."

Mizore looked at him oddly. He wasn't sure if he liked that look. She was still a bit creepy, even if she was now his friend.

She was at his side now, her heart beat faster. Why did she feel compelled to do this?

"After a visit to the infirmary a patient should always get a lollipop,"The purple haired girl took out her lollipop and stuck it in the mercenary's mouth.

"Mff?"

But she was already gone, her shyness overcoming the moment. Mizore couldn't believe she had done that with no hesitation, especially an indirect kiss. She didn't have feelings for him did she?

'He thinks I'm pretty,'She thought.

Scout shivered, the lollipop was really cold! Still it didn't taste too bad. He wasn't sure if exchanging lollipops like this meant anything, could be a Japanese thing. Yeah.

Moka was surprised at how jealous she was feeling, she hadn't even noticed her lips pursing in anxiety. 'It was just concern that's all.'

"Um Scout?" Moka asked sweetly, and leaned closer to him.

"Yeah?" He asked, was she gonna kiss him?

"I know one way you could make it up to me...," She said as she blushed.

"Go for it," Scout grinned, finally things were going his way.

She clapped her hands together happily and pursed her lips, but they were going for his neck!

Oh no! He should have known!

"Chuuuuuuuuu~"

"GAH!"

* * *

**OMAKE**

'How did I get myself into this?' Tsukune asked himself. He was rejected from just about every high school. So, when his parents came across employment opportunities they jumped at the chance for him to become a part of Reliable Excavation Demolition, also known as RED. Little did they know that the work involved lots of violence, and weird coworkers.

"Tsu-ku-ne~" A voice called to him. Tsukune turned around to see the Medic, with reddened cheeks and an excited expression.

"Ah, morning Medic-san," He replied nervously as Medic got closer.

"Time for your examination~"Medic snickered sadistically, and jabbed a syringe in Tsukune's neck.

"AAAH!"

"Oo hoo hoo hoo!" Medic laughed."Ze hurting is good!"

After a few agonizing moments Medic collected the blood sample, and Tsukune rubbed his neck with a wince. He was given no chance to recovered as his face was then buried in smelly and sweaty fat.

"Tsukune! Baby comrade!"Heavy greeted pushing Tsukune's face farther into his belly, it was sweaty and smelled of vodka."We must make you into Heavy!"

Just as Tsukune was about to black out from suffocation a kunai zoomed past Heavy, startling him and causing the teen to be released.

"No," Spy said simply and then whispered in Tsukune's ear."Monsieur Aono would rather be a spy. He prefers to do things from behind, no?"

Tsukune just shivered, especially since the Spy smelled heavily of aftershave and cigarettes.

Heavy pulled on Tsukune's arm possessively while Spy pulled on the other.

"You maggots are both wrong!" Soldier screamed, as he was sweeping the area. Apparently he worked as a janitor too."He wants to be disciplined into a soldier, don't you son?!"

"Uh-"

Soldier brought out the disciplinary action and thwacked it on his palm a few teams, he chuckled darkly.

"First I'm gonna whip you maggot!" He yelled."THEN YOU WILL WHIP ME!"

"What?!"

'Just another day in Teufort...' Tsukune thought, and sighed.

(What the hell did I just write?)

* * *

**A/N: Hi sorry for the late update, I had life to deal with. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this story so far. If you've noticed Kurumu doesn't consider Scout his destined one and I didn't want to have Scout mime Tsukune to arbitrarily make him her destined one. ****Until next time.**


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